Interview with Dean Angeles (aka Elliott DeLine) Author of “The Stars Below.”

Originally posted here.

Why do you write primarily transgender and queer characters?

Well, first off, because I write what I know. I’m a transgender man. Secondly, I think it’s important that other trans people see themselves reflected in media. I’d especially like to see more books and movies about transgender people that are written by transgender people. In this novel, like my others, the trans protagonist is very flawed. Why do I do this? Why don’t I portray ideal versions of trans people for good publicity? After all, there are enough negative stereotypes out there, why add to it? Simply put, perfect characters are not what literature is about. Especially in The Stars Below, I want readers to watch the journey of Damien, as he grows into a better person. I want them to see his humanity: that he’s struggling just like the rest of us. I think there’s a place for trans superheroes and antiheroes in media. I’m better at creating the latter.

Tell your readers about your book.

The Stars Below is about a man named Damien. He is transgender, female-to-male, and in his early 30’s. He has a drinking problem. He’s a writer, and he’s moved from living with his parents and working at a library to a farmhouse in the country to have solitude to work on his novel. When he gets there, he meets the various boarders: a woman named Michelle who is very sexually charged and seems to be constantly coming on to him. An androgynous goth named Alex. A friendly cowboy named Jesse with whom he starts a would-be-romance. A little girl named Ruby. And one starry night, a mysterious, handsome, cloaked man named Alexander. Damien gets hooked on a drug, ketamine, which is a psychedelic. He discovers eventually that all these people are actually one: a shapeshifter with multiple personalities. He begins a passionate Dom/sub relationship with Alexander, a demon who makes the shapeshifting possible. Damien’s drug use gets worse and worse, and eventually he has to decide between his new family and home with the shapeshifter or continuing to use ketamine and other harmful substances.

Click here to read the novel.

Tell your readers a little about yourself.

I live on a farm with my partner and family. We have goats, chickens, ducks, rabbits, and soon we will have horses. I’ve lived here for 3 years since the pandemic. I was born in Syracuse, NY, and grew up in the suburbs. I’m 34 years old. I’m the author of several books of fiction, memoir, and poetry including Refuse, Show Trans., and I Know Very Well How I Got My Name, and My essays have been published in The New York Times, The Advocate, Original Plumbing Magazine, and The Body is Not an Apology. My short story Dean and Teddy was published in The Collection: Short Fiction From the Transgender Vanguard, which won the Lambda Literary Award. I attended SUNY Purchase and Syracuse University and have a Bachelor’s degree in Literature.

Besides writing, my passions include photography, animal care, nature, music, snowboarding, and art. I am introverted but also thrive in communities.

What inspired you to author this book?

Mainly, I wanted to show how hellish addiction can be inspired by my own experiences. I portray a very flawed character and show how he recovers and becomes a better person. It would be great if the story gave people hope.

You’re an established author, with award-winning books including Refuse, I Know Very Well How I Got My Nameand Show Trans. Why did you go with Wattpad for this novel?

I prefer self-publishing. It allows me to have control over the process: the timeline, the cover art, the promotion….in short, everything. I chose Wattpad this time because I wanted to release this novel in installments, like a television series. Over the next few months, readers will be getting “Season One.” I also like Wattpad because it’s a community of people storytelling. I thought this would be a productive place to reach everyday readers in this modern age, where they can read on their phone or laptop. In the future, I will be publishing paperback versions of the book.

LINKS

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Elliott-DeLine/author

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4786908.Elliott_DeLine

https://www.facebook.com/authorelliottdeline

https://www.instagram.com/dean.ryan.elliott/

https://deanangeles.tumblr.com

https://www.wattpad.com/user/dean-angeles

4th Puberty (Testosterone Journey)

A lot of trans people go on hormones and talk about 2nd puberty. Makes sense. I’m on my 4th. 

I was born a girl. Or assigned female. I went thru puberty at 14 and grew breasts, got wider hips, body hair, a period, etc. I didn’t like it much at all. I liked girls best but didn’t consider myself a lesbian. I was just a boy that was unfortunately a girl, if that makes sense. I heard the term Female-To-Male at 17 from a friend and it clicked. I did some old-school internet research (Hudson’s FTM resources anyone?)  and started going to a clinic at Syracuse University to work on a letter for hormones. It was…awful. Akin to conversion therapy in my opinion. You had to be binary and straight to transition. And abusive, invasive questioning. But anyway. Such was the times.

When I was 20, I went on testosterone. This was….2008. I was at SUNY Purchase College in Whiteplains, NY. It’s a pretty queer school. Gotta be the queerest SUNY school at least. It’s the definition of hipster. It’s where I learned that I was not unique but in fact a hipster.  Ouch. Also I became more of a hipster (skinny jeans, big glasses….) It’s also where I learned that actually (sometimes) we like being called queers, dykes, etc. Anyway, I rode the train to Callen-Lorde in NYC where they did Informed Consent and I got my t. After a torturous Syracuse summer, which I have chronicled elsewhere. 

After that I lived as a pretty gay, writerly loner dude for….wow….over 10 years, mostly in Syracuse with frequent trips down to NYC. Mostly with my parents. I went to SU and finished up my English BA. The trans community leaders and resources in Syracuse were FUCKED UP. I have also written about this elsewhere. There was a right and wrong way to be transgender for sure, and people of color and nonbinary people always got it wrong of course.  And were shunned. Shrug. I didn’t stand for it, neither did my future partner Joey…We shook shit up, fell in love, it was beautiful…. Also difficult. I have a lot of trauma (but also just kinda sucked sometimes). But lots of good times with my new chosen family that included the wonderful Drew, Joey’s son, and two cats. Both on the road in our RV and in the crazy, lovely/ infuriating little college town of Ithaca, NY. Also chronicled quite a bit in this blog. 

Anyway, Joey made me comfortable enough with my feminine side that I went off T, on it again, and off it several times over 6 years, usually going with a low dose. But, when covid hit, my alter ego Ellie was just like “I NEED TO EXIST DAMNIT” and so I…detransitioned? Not completely, because I never went out. And I never presented as female around Drew ( like with my breast prosthetics, makeup, wig, etc). I went with femboy. But I was a girl. “On” estrogen. And really longing to exist out in the world. But, well, covid. 

Then, this summer. moody gay transsexual Dean (featured in my first book, Refuse) was like, “I’m back and uncomfortable in my body!” and Ellie was like “Well…I can work with T. I actually think I’m nonbinary and more of a femboy and tomboy, and also girls can have beards!).” And then there was Ryan (who is currently typing) who was like…”dude I’m a stereotypical masculine trans guy who wants to lift weights… and I’m bi but I’m like really hot for fem women especially.” Everyone else was like, “Noooooo you are somehow inherently problematic with your privilege!….But then….No wait, I guess you really aren’t actually. OK. Hi Ryan! You can exist too.” Ryan hadn’t been around in, well, decades. So here he was. He was formerly named Laura in my head, which was my birth name, and I kinda just “deadnamed” him outta existence. But he’s real. And he wants to be called Ryan. 

Don’t freak out tho, you can call me Elliott or Dean or Ryan or Ellie and I won’t mind. Elliott is probably easiest for most. Or I’ve heard it’s cool to name your D.I.D. system. We are “The Angeles Family.”

Anyway.

I learned about D.I.D. and autism from Joey and that made sense of A LOT. Forgot to mention that. 

So in August, Dean went back on T. And now here I am, Ryan, on .5 cc (decent dose), living in the country, lifting weights, doing pilates, posting shirtless selfies on IG…yeeeeah. I’m a bit of a harmless bro, which drives Dean a little crazy. But that’s ok. Because I realize everything about this sounds crazy, and I don’t mind. 🙂 It’s me. And yes, Dean is around often, to write and be a sub and listen to Depeche Mode and wear eyeliner and all black, and the others pop in pretty regularly too. 

Anyway. 

I’m not sure what to say about being back on T yet again except that I’m experiencing gender euphoria and it’s beautiful. Also, my partner invented GenderCat.com and that is also largely contributing to the euphoria. Woot woot. 

Sorry if that’s TMI. Shrug. 

Anyway, if you wanna check out my posts back when I went on estrogen you can look back a little ways in this blog.. 

And if you wanna check out my books, you can look them up under Elliott DeLine. Beware, I was pretty miserable. 

And I guess that’s it for now, I’ll write another post if something comes to me. Peace.