Yesterday we went to Auburn with the objective of me giving a reading at an open-mic-style event for writers. As I often do, I got cold feet as it got closer to the time to go. We still drove out there anyway and gave it a try. There was a very small, homogeneous crowd of people who I felt awkward sharing my writing with. I didn’t feel like outing myself to a room of about five middle-aged to old, cis and straight appearing people. I don’t mean to be prejudice or stereotype, it just wasn’t comfortable for me facing the unknown. And I hate small crowds. It’s much more awkward than a large one. My social anxiety has been pretty nasty lately.
After we left, we went to a place called Emerson Park. Joey took some photography, and I took some phone photography, which actually works better for me than the DSLR camera. We were on Owasco Lake. It was nice out, and I had taken some Klonopin to relax for the reading, so I was pretty chilled out. I played on a playground and we looked at the water. We stayed til dusk. 
Now I am back in Syracuse, in the Valley at a coffee house I’ve never been to before. I find it kind of funny that it’s called The Broadway Cafe because this is sort of the middle of nowhere and definitely not anything like Broadway. Oh my GOD I am craving a cigarette. I have this ecig thing but it just isn’t cutting it today.
I am mostly trying to keep this particular blog about my travels and not a lot of self-reflection. I save that for my other writing. But if it leaks out time and again, that’s fine. I can’t wait to get our motor-home and just be on the road all the time. I’m not sure how much longer that will take. I’m ready though. Then these posts will start getting more interesting.
So next trip is to Geneva, NY for the Finger Lakes Pride Festival, where I will be selling and signing my books. Here’s some info on that, if you’re interested:
Finger Lakes Gift and Lounge, 60 Seneca St., Geneva, NY
May 30, 10 pm
I’ll be reading along with other local trans storytellers.
Seneca Street Parking Lot, Downtown, Geneva, NY
May 30, 1-7 PM
I’ll be selling and signing copies of my books as well as art. Come say hi!
Elliott DeLine, Author 